I guess I should tell you a little about myself, I am Fred Reader, live in Sydney, Australia. I am married with three adult children by this time of my life. I have had a few health problems. Firstly, at 46 years old I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, thank you Mum. My mother had rheumatoid arthritis from her mid-thirties until her death in 2004. Then on the 13 December 2014 I suffered a heart attack on the way home from shopping. That was two years after my father passed away in 2012. My father had a heart attack at 54 years which was thirty years before his death. I was taken to Concord Hospital; they did some test and ask me if I had a heart attack previously. So, this had been my second heart attack. So, there I go I have beaten my father as I had my second heart attack at 53. Following this there was a quadruple bypass, and by June 2015 they inserted a defibrillator onto my heart.
So therefore, I can blame my bad genes, as along with my bad habits, smoking cigarettes, and drinking alcohol. Such is life. I was once asked if I would divorce my parents when I meet them in heaven, I said no because I should thank them for showing me the good, the bad and ugly of dealing with problems that effected their health so badly. Thanks Mum and Dad.
I was an accountant, the day was the 8 January 2020, from memory a Wednesday. So here is what I remember from that day. I awoke about 5 am, I was having breakfast and my wife Di making coffee, and was heading off to work, the time was 5:15. I was watching TV, wondering what I will do during the day. The day was warm, and the heat was already coming through. About 7:30 am it was time to drive my car to workshop for its regular service. I drop off the car and spoke to the mechanic. It was a lovely day, so there are two ways to travel back; - catch a bus then walk down from the shop to our home. The latter is a six kilometre walk from workshop to our house long the Parramatta River. So, I decided that the walk as the best way home. It was about an hour and half later; I was at home and a little sweaty. The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital bed with my wife Di, our son Ben, our daughter Siobhan, and her partner Declan. I was lucky enough to remember my family.
The doctor told me that I had an ischemic stroke. I had the worst headache that I ever had. Then they asked me to give them ten words beginning with the letter ‘F’ I remember my first word was ‘fuck’! I cannot remember the other words that I said. They established that I have aphasia. That is my recollection of the day. What I did not know at the time, was the following:
· I had no idea where I was?
· What time it was?
· And what happened during the day?
So that was my day as I remembered it.
What did happen during that day.
This was what my family told me: -
Our son Ben was at home that day, as well, at about 11:30 am he decided that he needed breakfast, he came down the stairs, said good morning and there was no reply. He walked over to the couches and found me on the floor I was incoherent and covered in sweat. He rang his mother then the ambulance. The ambulance arrived they decide to take to me Westmead Hospital, they did some test and worked out that I had a stroke. By this time, my wife Di left Royal North Shore Hospital where she worked, she called our daughters Chloe and Siobhan to tell them what was going on. Our daughter Chloe rang her husband Craig, and Siobhan rang her partner Declan. By then Di had arrive at Westmead Hospital and was heading to Emergency Department. Ben called her to tell her they were heading to Royal North Shore Hospital (RNS), because doctor had just left Westmead to go RNS hospital. Di called the girls and hold them to head to RNS instead.
Di arrived back at RNS about 2:00 pm were she meet Siobhan and Declan. Chloe and Craig decide that she was too upset to drive, and they would see me the next day. At the hospital Di signed the document so I could have the procedure that removes the clot from my brain. It was around 7:00 pm I was in a ward at Royal North Shore Hospital, Di told me that they wanted to send me back to Westmead, she spoke to one of the doctors who was looking after me, they agreed that it was better for me to stay at RNS. Di would get free parking and she could see me during the day.
So that was my day, 8 January 2020.
To start I want to discuss is how I beat my bad habits which took about fifteen years to complete. I started smoking at fourteen, come to think of it I was smoking every day since I was born, because my parents where smokers, my father smoked heavily, and mother was a social smoker at best. As I was reaching forty-five years of age my fingers and knees were starting to show signs of rheumatoid arthritis was coming on quickly. I spoke to my GP he said that methotrexate was the drug of choice, and he told me that I must control my alcohol intake. I realised that I if continued smoking that it would be a problem to control my drinking as both these habits were inextricably linked. I decided that I should stop smoking, so I did. I continued to drink alcohol when I was on methotrexate. I got plenty of call from my rheumatologist telling me that I was drinking too much. After I had my heart attack my cardiologist decided to put on warfarin before I had my bypass surgery. After the operation they decided I could stop warfarin. After about eighteen months after my heart attack my rheumatologist took me off methotrexate, wonderful I could drink again. For about nine month I was off methotrexate, then I was back on it again. After my stroke I was told that I needed to be on warfarin and methotrexate, for the rest of my life. So now I am a non-smoker and non-drinker.
Do I miss smoking and drinking alcohol??? Shit!! Yes. Because I enjoy them far too much.
The next thing was to discuss and decide is whether should I retire or go back to work. I knew that Di and Siobhan had worked out that I should retire before they told me. I felt the need for me to try and go back to work to see if I could do it. This was January 2020, and COVID was coming quickly, and currently I was unemployed at that time. I realised that it would be difficult for me to find employment while I was not communicating all that well. I realised that it would take months or even years for my communication to improve. I realise that I had enough money for me to retire. Our darling daughter Siobhan took my phone and went through the names of people in my phone. There were people who she knew and there were people who she did not know. She found my finance advisor, gave him a call. He said that I was not a good client because I always forgot to sign his form to keep me on his books. He said that he would email her the form and get me to sign it. Nothing like good friends, aye?
My financial advisor arranged my money to keep us going short term. There were many forms to be filled in by my medical carers, my wife Di and myself for superannuation and income protection claims. Siobhan also said we should see our solicitor to renew our wills, get Power of Attorney and Enduring Guardianship. Thankfully, your education dollars were well spent Siobhan, to become a social worker.
Now I will write about my mental health. Yes, I was pissed off with the fact that I had a stroke, but then again, I had two heart attacks previously, and I watch my parents live with their medical problems. After my headache began to decline and I could think more clearly. I realise that my aphasia has made harder to communicate, there is neuro fatigue as well. But my body look the same as before. I realise that I need to work on my aphasia and keep myself fit, and everything would be fine. I learn to live the effect of rheumatoid arthritis, which is very painful especially in the finger joints, the wrist, elbows, shoulders, knees, and toes. I realised that I did not need major surgery again, they do not need to cut open my chest and open my ribs and cut open my left forearm to take a vein out it. I was alive so therefore there is always a way forward.
Unfortunately, there no quick fixes after a stroke, it is all hard work sometimes it doesn’t go the way we hope. This marathon not a sprint. Please, be kind to yourself, this is most important thing that helps me with my mental health.
As I said before I was in RNS Hospital for a week then two weeks in Ryde Rehab. In hospital I started my speech therapy. Before I could be to transfer from the hospital to rehabilitation centre, I needed to have a shower with an occupation therapist with me. I though why? I had a heart attack and then a major operation, and no one wanted to see me having a shower! The reason was to check my balance and see how I dry myself and get dressed – these things are important after stroke before you moved to rehabilitation.
I was pleased that on 16 January 2020 I was transferred from RNS Hospital to the Royal Ryde Rehabilitation Centre. I was impressed by the changes that they have made to the old building which was there when my father was near the end of his life. They knocked down the old building and put up a new building. I was in a large room with a bathroom all by myself. I was there for two weeks; this was a time for lots of speech and physical therapy.
Now is the time to write about my aphasia.
What have I found about my aphasia? Firstly, I realised that after my stoke I have not become dumb or stupid overnight. I was just having difficulty finding words when I required them. To describe this is difficult, but here I go. It is like been at a railway station looking at screen showing all the station or suburbs which that the train is stopping at during your trip. That is what is like in my mind, I see words going passed quickly as I try to find the right word say or type. This the reason I found it exceedingly difficult to be with people initially after I my stroke, especially if I had two or three people talking a one time. My fatigue came in very quickly. I was very isolated initially because these problems did not exist before my stroke. The insolation was the most difficult part of my aphasia from my stroke – I did not want to have people around me or to interact with them. I have found that it takes time to learn how to use your new skills and the way I now need to process language.
I found that the speech therapy the most difficult of all as I was trying to remember what a synonyms and antonyms were, and what the hell is an anagram? I spent most the time wishing that I spent more time studying English than playing cards (mainly solitaire) instead of studying. Thankfully, it all came back slowly.
The physical therapy was fine and almost enjoyable. Although I did realise quickly that my balance was bad. Still today I have a problem with balancing exercises. I was lucky that there was a walking track along a man-made lake which is very small. So, I could go for a walk most day and sometimes I would sit on a bench enjoy the sunshine.
Still by the 30 January 2020 no one has any idea how bad my stroke was or what really cause it. I can understand that I could not have MRI because of my defibrillator. The best my doctors could work out is that my heartbeat caused a blood clot travel up to my brain which resulted in my stroke. Still after four years we still have no idea. The enjoys of been me.
On the 30 January 2020 I was release from Ryde Rehab, I was told I could use Concord Hospital outpatients for speech and physical therapy. About that time COVID was starting. I rang Concord Hospital, and they hold me that I should ring in six weeks. I had a conversation with Di my wife who worked in a laboratory at RNS Hospital, she was convinced that it would be a lot longer. So, we decide to await the six weeks and then we would decide what to do. After six week I rang again they said to ring again in six months. We decide it was time to do something ourselves. Thankfully, they gave me a list of six speech therapists, and we had a good physiotherapy who has treated us for used many years.
I started by ringing the speech therapist to see who was willing to help me, most at the time said that they were not taking new clients because of COVID, please ring between one to six months later. Thankfully, there was one who said yes and ask for a couple of weeks to organise someone to help me. I rang my physio they said that they were organising a daily zoom session for exercise. So, we manage to get speech and physical help by ourselves.
These days I still use my speech therapist every two weeks, I still going for exercise class once a week for forty-five minutes, about forty-five times a year. Along with these I exercise daily and go for a walk somewhere between 2.5 kilometres to seven kilometres. I still enjoy reading although I can only read for about 30 minutes at a time and do crosswords as well.
For whatever reason I was very lucky to survive my stroke and able to walk and talk almost like I did before. I still have issue finding words sometimes, especially when I am fatigued. I realise that I do not sleep that well, but I have learned how to live with my fatigue.
I would like to thank my family Di, Chloe, Siobhan and Ben, our sons-in-law Craig and Declan and Ben partner Ashleigh. And now grandson Cooper, for all their love and support during this time.
To all stroke survivors I would like to tell you must be kind to yourself, always. People with aphasia need lots of patience all the time. The last two are very important to all stroke survivors, firstly no one else can do your exercises whether they are speech or physical therapy, it is your stroke and your responsibility to do it yourself.
Unfortunately, it is probably for the rest of our lives, so you can never give up.
P.S Most stroke survivor I have met continue to improve every day, so there is always HOPE.
Comments